All of my life, I've been in pursuit of happiness through fitness. From my hernia surgery as a baby, through scars developed on my skin as a kid. I could never find my balance and felt insecure in some ways and well hidden behind promiscuity, acting, modeling and things that I could purchase.

I knew, getting control of my body was the answer because, when no one was around and I was ready to hop in the shower. (looking into the mirror)

These are some of the things I'd wished for.

1. Peace from the inside
2. Honesty with others
3. True love - and
4. Understanding

For me, I had to go to a HARD place to obtain that, and I bet its the same for you.